Another Revision

  The rewriting experience for this week was not too difficult. The feedback I had received was fairly positive, with one main piece of advice given - I should form more links between the different sources. There is most definitely a truth to this statement. I have a strong preference to separate the sources into their own sections. This way I can tackle my sources in a more concise and straightforwardly manner. In this case, the sources are videos and I end up viewing them without relation to each other.  As a result, the text becomes very linear and does not bring the reader to think about the other sources that were read. It does not challenge or present the reader with the ideas that I had formulated by watching these videos. I am still uncertain about how to effectively carry this out. However, I believe I made a decent attempt to adjust the text according to my advice. 

As well as this, I read over the text and had found a number of small errors. This, of course, I had attempted to fix to the best of my abilities.